The Nookii Gameprovided for review by tabutoys sex is generally a very serious matter in mainstream, western culture, that’s not an entirely accurate account of sex. There’s definitely a place for humor, for play. I feel much more intimate with someone I can laugh with during sexual escapades. So in a way, it’s great that sex games can add a lot of fun to the interaction. It becomes problematic when the fun overwhelms those lustful urges. This often happens to us when we play games – until we give up on the game and do our own thing.

Nookii is a very simple game. As the title suggests, it favours coupled action, especially of the male-female sort. There are two sets of cards – one for men and one for women – within which there are three levels of arousal – mmm’s, ooh’s, and aah’s. The mmm card is a warm-up, the ooh card is meant to be fun, and the aah card is meant to seal the deal. The game comes with dice and a timer that may or may not actually work properly (ours didn’t). There’s also the worst-blindfold-that-has-ever-existed-but-your-mom-might-wear-it-if-she-likes-scarves.

The biggest problem that I see with this game is its verbosity. Imagine having to read these directions aloud to your partner:

“Stand behind me. Run your fingers through my hair, pulling it straight back behind my ears and holding it for the duration. Breathe cool breath on my right ear, applying your tongue delicately to the edges. Repeat to the left ear. Kiss my forehead an inch above the brow of my nose. Concentrate your tongue on this area in a circular motion. While still holding my hair back, kiss the tip of my nose. Tip my head further back and kiss my lips. Rub noses with mine in an ‘Eskimo’ kissing style.”

If you read them as he goes, the actions become stunted and mechanical by the interruptions of speech. If you read them ahead of time, he will more than likely forget his lengthy instructions.

Some of the lengthy directions contain parts that don’t make much sense:

“Plant delicate kisses over his face starting with his forehead and then moving down to his cheeks, nose, upper lip and chin. Place your arms around his neck and rest on his shoulder massaging him with your thumbs…”

Um. What?

I would list some other examples, if I could do so without it requiring a whole separate paragraph just to establish a context. Every single card offers lengthy, detailed, and sometimes confusing instructions. The language is part driver’s education material and part spirit animal meditation. Maybe part of my personal problem with it is that I’m not a very formal speaker when it comes to sex. In fact, sometimes I’m downright incoherent. I would like this game a lot more if the directions were less softcore robot porn and more creatively intuitive.

However, I will say that this game is good for laughs or if you’ve been a lazy lover. If you’re pretty new to sex or have a new partner, it’s not a bad way to feel out vanilla foreplay more thoroughly. We had a lot of fun playing it, even though we hated the blindfold and felt way more amused than aroused offers discreet, private shopping to men and women of all sexual orientations. And to help you pick out just the sex toy, dildos or vibrator  you’ve been looking for, they offer an excellent sex toy quiz.

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